When Being Vulnerable is Real Strength.

‘Sometimes you have to drop your guard so your heart can breathe’. Emma Xu

I was raised to believe that Real Strength is a mind that’s unfazed by adversities.

But then — Is it possible to be always unfazed by adversities?

Adversities come in all shapes and sizes; Some of them rip your heart apart and interfere in your ability to lead a normal life. How do you then remain unfazed?

Among the people that ridicule talking about feelings, my opinion may not establish the credibility that real strength calls for.

To me Real Strength has a completely different look.

It’s about feeling the whole range of feelings — the positive and not so positive.

Happiness and Joy have no difficulty in taking centre stage; It is the Fear, the Shame, the Sadness, the Guilt that want to slink away, unnoticed by anyone.

Try as one may to push these uncomfortable feelings away, it’s not easy. They creep up on us from time to time and we promptly push them away so that we appear strong, capable and in control-Smile and move on, because we want to be perceived as being strong.

We have been conditioned to believe that talking about our feelings and sharing our innermost selves is an exhibition of weakness; That letting our guard down and allowing the world to see our authentic self , that is, Being Vulnerable, will lead to people taking advantage of us, criticising us or even rejecting us…. All of which feel scary.

Vulnerability is so much a part of everyday life. Asking for help, Falling in love, Engaging in honest conversations within relationships or even Waiting for some important medical test results to come are all times when we have the choice to put out our vulnerable self or stay under the cloak of perceived strength.

While being vulnerable is not easy, I’ve learnt that it can be a freeing experience. Sharing our true feelings makes us more understanding of ourselves thereby improving our relationship with others.

For many, being vulnerable is a display of one’s inadequacies. This is far from the truth.

Displaying our pain , our fears, our mistakes or our inconsistencies require courage. Courage to embrace who we are and how we feel. It brings us closer to people and aid us in building satisfying relationships of love and belonging- Something all of us need to lead a full life.

When faced with issues where you have no control over the outcome or while you go through difficult issues, it’s okay to cry, to tell someone that you are hurting.

Allow yourself to feel and share your feelings with those you trust. Do away with those barricades you have been creating around you and put out your imperfect self. You don’t need to protect/ disown your pain or your fractured parts. Instead lean in with openness, compassion and a strength that says — This is me, with all my insecurities and fears and struggles.

Being vulnerable is a scary and definitely an uncomfortable experience; but I know that the more I practise it the more I am able to connect, to ask for help and bounce back from adversities; and this to me is what real strength is all about.