The Upside of Boredom.

If there is one line most parents dread, it is –‘I’m Bored, What should I do?’

No sooner than these words are uttered, parents feel compelled to intervene and propose a running list of options that need to be fun but enriching for their little ones. After all, we belong to a society which rewards ‘being productive’ all the time.

What is Boredom and does the definition change as you grow older?

Boredom is the state you are in, when you are aroused, but find nothing in the environment engaging enough to direct your energies towards. It may also occur when you find trouble focussing on an activity, either because its too challenging or too mundane.

In addition, children may complain of boredom to engage the attention of their parents or when they have uncomfortable feelings to deal with.

Adolescents complain a lot more about feeling bored, which may be because they are still figuring out about themselves and their interests.

So yes, everyone goes through periods of boredom. For me, it has been a catalyst for action.

Growing up I lived in a house that overlooked a long narrow street. I remember spending hours by the window watching people. I sat in that nothingness, until some thought kicked up my internal drive and then I was off, chasing and exploring that thought. This experience, of having a space where I could just be, helped me find the essence of what sparks my interest, which in turn played a significant role in choosing my vocation.

Things are different today, the world around is not very accepting of boredom. It is constantly telling you that every moment needs to be optimized and goal driven.

In a scenario like this, lying down immersed in your thoughts or just doing nothing would be completely out of line with the theme of productivity.

Research reveals, that for many people, even the thought of boredom can be very uncomfortable. Luckily for them, the advent of the smartphone , assures constant companionship and promises to relieve them of this discomfort.

Now every idle minute can be used to search, post, tweet or text, leaving no time to synthesize or chew on any information, that has been ingested through the day.

Children are not far behind in this busyness. They have their own line up of activities to keep them engaged.

Their schedules are cramped with things to do until they fall asleep.

Boredom is no longer the child’s dilemma — it’s the parents predicament. They are supposed to provide their children with activities to engage in (productively).

When parents run out of ideas, there is technology to keep kids busy with nonstop entertainment. Cheery cartoon characters and captivating graphics, with promises of advance class preparation and boosting confidence, can keep children engaged through the day.

Sadly there is no ‘unfilled’ time anymore for the child.

Now the question is — Of what use is this ‘unfilled’ time?

Pretty much, Ide say.

Vacant time spawns creativity.

Children will eventually come up with something that catches their attention and begin to rely on themselves for their entertainment; Thus building Self Esteem and Self Awareness.

As parents I would think it is worthwhile not to come up with a list of options the next time your children moan about being bored.

Instead nudge them to lean into boredom — Tolerate it and Engage with it.

Remind them that our ancestors would never have discovered continents or had scientific and artistic breakthroughs if they did not spend time with their thoughts.

Show them how they can allow their minds to wander- think about their likes; their dislikes, their interests, things they are curious about.

I know a lady who encouraged her son to put together a boredom tool box. The box had a list of activities, he thought would be fun to do. The list kept getting longer; Interestingly, the more he tinkered with his thoughts, the more the ideas that bubbled and spilt out of him.

Friedrich Nietzsche referred to boredom as the “unpleasant calm that precedes creative acts.”

All our lives are punctuated by spells of boredom. This unstructured downtime is magical and encourages our children to become creative and independent thinkers.

Do not take over the responsibility of fixing your child’s boredom, instead listen and acknowledge his/her feelings. Adopt a more supporting role rather than a directing role

Add some physical contact after you’ve listened.

A shoulder massage, is helpful while you ask questions like– You have any ideas what you could do? In all likelihood she/he will say…’no’, to which you could say….Give it some time — I’m sure you will come up with something.

Keep the mood light with lots of warmth and connection. Throw in a few unusual suggestions, which may give rise to some giggles. Laughter eases a lot of things and moods begin to shift.

If none of this work, then, just hang in there with your child. Remember boredom like any other mood is impermanent. When your child’s emotional tank feels full with all the connection he/she will find his own source of fun.

Your caring and being there with a non-judgemental attitude is the only solution that’s needed.

And just maybe listening to the song ‘Time well wasted’ by Brad Paisley