Pausing Intentionally — The Much Needed Downtime.

Who hasn’t watched a baby learn to walk- his unbridled enthusiasm and optimism is something to sit up and take notice of. Were he to wobble or fall, he didn’t seem to mind too much. He sat for a bit, pulled himself up and enthusiastically threw himself back into ‘project walk’.

As the years go by, project walk changes to project life ,and then, many a time this enthusiasm gives way to frustration and fatigue. Life puts forth obstacles that bring in disappointment, anger and sometimes a sense of hopelessness. There are some, who go through long periods of feeling lonely, disconnected from family and friends and intense helplessness.

Over time, ‘Wobble, fall and stand up again’ gets exhausting.

The pain you feel far exceeds your resources to cope. You desperately want to break free from the feelings that designate you as worthless and your problems as unsolvable. Everything seems out of control — your thoughts, your problems and your life.

How do you deal with this and get the respite you are craving for? Thoughts of food binging, deliberate self-harm, drugs, alcohol, or thoughts of suicide loom inside the minds chaos, each promising to take you to the land of numbness and relief.

None of these thoughts are a character flaw or a sign of weakness. It only speaks of a pain that’s unbearable and a life that’s difficult to manage. Even for those who had thoughts of suicide, it was not about wanting to die, instead it was about getting away from the suffering.

A comforting thought in the midst of all this is that, some of the finest and talented people have walked this road of overwhelm and found light at the end of the tunnel. Their experiences prove, that hope can be renewed and you can find a suitable balm for your pain. There are people who need you, places where your presence will make a difference and experiences that will bring back your love for life.

All it takes for you to reclaim your strength is, to remind yourself of that little punctuation mark you learnt in primary school. The Semi Colon ;

A Semi colon is like a pause, a small, yet meaningful separation between thoughts. The first thought could have ended with a period but the semicolon stitches in another thought that adds more meaning to the first. It is you who choose to add meaning to your sentence. You could have ended your sentence but your choice to put in the semicolon means that you chose to keep it going.

Perhaps, as you read this, you are going through that dark phase in your life or know of someone battling through various obstacles. Times when life isn’t just ‘bad’- its painful and in your face. That’s when you need to put in that semi-colon, the prolonged pause, where you promise yourself that you won’t engage in any unhelpful activity until you seek help.

This pause helps you recognise that feelings are temporary ; not only do they pass but every feeling does not call for action.

Can you stay with the feeling and the distress it creates…….that’s the question?

Your situation may seem like a no-win right now, but hang in there, the semicolon will give you the space to find a road through the mist.

Remember you are not alone, people and resources are available to listen to you and support you

The Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu once said, “the journey of a thousand miles begin with a single step.”

That single step here is the courage to apply the semi colon - to slow down, Breathe and Pause.

Not only does this signpost remind you that you are not alone it also nudges you to believe that you can create a new life story.

Although Amy Bleuel started the Semicolon project in 2013 with the intent to support people struggling with mental illness and suicidal tendencies, I believe it is also a beacon of hope and support to anyone going through a rough time.

During my school days- anything that I needed to remind myself of, I wrote on the palm of my hand. Taking a cue from there, today I have a semicolon drawn on the corner of my palm — a silent reminder that I can choose to linger mindfully when life seems like its going nowhere….because eventually I will find a way.