Coping with my Big Worries- A Childs Perspective on Managing Anxiety.

I know that you feel exhausted trying to calm me down when I act like a complete worry worm, but trust me, this worry drains me out too.

I can see you get frustrated and that upsets me coz try what I may, I am not able to put into words exactly how I feel.

I appreciate your trying to protect me, shield me from being unhappy, but honestly, it doesn’t help.

I know you want me to get over my distress, and you try really hard, so I want to share with you a few things you could do for me, that would help me manage my worry.

· Please don’t dismiss my fears. My fears are very real. When you brush them aside I feel unheard. Its okay to tell me that I will learn to manage my angst and that you will help me find a way through it. That makes me feel confident of facing my fears

· Listen to me, I need time to put my feelings into words. Your reassuring comments only help if you have listened to me. Talk to me about my school, my friends, my day, and somewhere in the middle of all of that I will be able to tell you about what’s bothering me.

· Sometimes I am worried about happenings in my everyday life — like if I’ll be able to recite the poem in my English class or if I will be a part of the football team. At other times I worry about big things like the train accident or the shootout I saw on Television. The news can be pretty scary at times. Its to clear my doubts that I ask you so many questions, so please answer them patiently. It means a lot, when you respond without getting frustrated.

· It feels nice when you hug me or tickle me or even ruffle my hair. Your smile and your voice calms me coz I know I have your love and support.

· Remember the time I was worried about who I’d sit beside, if my friend didn’t come to class. That day you made me think aloud about what I could do if he actually didn’t come. A bit of that thinking through my worry made me feel relaxed, and I was quite convinced I could manage getting through the day without my friend. Talking about what I could do to handle my fears reduces the confusions in my head.

· At times my mind gets stuck in a cycle of unhelpful thoughts. All I can think of is about my fears and how incapable I am in handling them. It is painful. I need to be reminded of the awesomeness in me. Would you then remember to help me focus on my strengths and talents whenever the ‘worry wart’ in me takes over?

· Its scary when my heart beats so fast and I have this terrible knot in my stomach and sometimes I feel faint. During these times please don’t ask me to Relax. I am absolutely jittery. Instead take me through the relaxation techniques that I see you do and stay with me.

· I do make an effort. Trust me, I do. Although it may seem like I’m being obstinate or I’m pandering for attention, I do want to get over this constant feeling of unease. I trust you and your helping me with encouragement and patience will help me manage my fears.